I tried my best to explain to my best friend, Vinnie, we were teens, just young girls when we met. How could she or anyone know what was going on unless I had revealed anything to someone, anyone, which I didn’t. Even if she knew, what could she do? I continued to talk but not sure I got through to her how much she has done for me over the years so I decided to write this and explain what a good friend she has been.
She was a young girl who had to replace all of the family and friends I had to leave in New York when we were taken from them. I had to trust her, love her, look up to her and follow her lead in a sense because I was in a whole new environment.
My life was full of turmoil, hate, confusion and just pure ugliness where I imagined Vinnies’ was sweet, innocent, loving, stable, non-fearing and loving. I sensed her sweetness, kindness and innocence and I felt comfortable around her. She doesn’t know how much just that part of our friendship meant to me.
As we grew older I began to tell her many of the things I was going through with my family. She was continuing her education to become a psychologist, a counselor, a person who listens, gives insight and possibly guides. I continued to make mistakes and she would listen, never judging me. She listened to me vent about my family repeatedly over the years and helped me through so many trials with them. I never had to hold back my choice of words with her which helped get the frustration and hopelessness out of my system. She was there for me whenever I called even in the middle of the night when I had been working on my filming and I may have had a drink or two.
Chronologically, my very best friend, Vinnie was there in my teens, to replace all my lost loved ones, my twenties when I had a child, married twice, had an abortion and as I continued to help my dysfunctional, addictive and abusive family. She was there in my thirties, God knows I was just trying to make it through my life, married to a man who was miserable and was making my daughter and I miserable and me not knowing what to do. She was there in my forties when I was working and had my own film/video business and finally got a divorce. My fifties were better years I assume except for the terrible things I still had to deal with in helping my family as I had all through my life.
Finally at this time of my life, I have now given her a break. These days when we talk, and it’s not nearly as much as we used to, our conversations consist of what we have been doing and how everyone is and such. As always she is a good laugher and I love that. We are silly together and I can still tell her any weird thoughts I might have and not fear she will run. She knows me. She had accepted me forty-eight years ago. I suspect Vinnie will always be my best friend. I can never thank her enough for helping me get through my life and may God always bless her.
This is one way I can tell her what an important, significant part she has played in my life. What a wonderful friend, true friend she has always been and how I thank God for putting her in my life. He knew I needed someone just like her to help me survive through so many trials in almost every aspect of my life.
So please know that you, Vinnie, should never feel bad that you didn’t know what trials I was going through in our teens because you have been with me and supported me through the most important times of my life, when I needed you the most and I am eternally grateful.